What will make him want me back

You were enjoying getting to know each other and exploring with each other. You were equal with each other. Like you have to chase after him to get his attention. Unfortunately, all that does is make him lose respect for you and see you as desperate, which undermines the relationship even more and pushes him away even further.

The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. The key mistake here is trying to convince him to get back together with you.

That makes you look needy and desperate — which will turn him off completely. He knows you love him — he just broke up with you. Remember, a conclusion he comes to on his own is always going to be way more powerful than a conclusion you manipulate him into making. All begging or using pity does is convince him that he made the right move.

It sabotages your vibe and makes you seem needy and desperate, which forces him to recoil from you and push you away from his life. Obviously, this can feel like a super upsetting thing. And rebound relationships are totally ineffective ways of moving on.

All it will do is remind him that he cares about you more, and that he wants you back in his life. It will push him even further towards the other girl, and once again make you come off as needy and desperate. Your instincts are going to be screaming at you to call him and text him all the time. You miss him, you want to talk to him, you want him to acknowledge you, you want contact with him! Unfortunately, your instincts are working against you.

Contact with him will only push him further away and tell him he was right to break up with you. After all, he broke your heart! Even if it feels good in the short run as a cathartic release of pain and frustration, in the long run it will surely drive him away from you forever. It will just mess you up and push him away. That will turn him off and drive him away from you faster than anything else — so definitely avoid this mistake.

Like we talked about before, letting him come to his own conclusions is much stronger and more powerful than trying to lead him there yourself. So let him come to his own conclusions about the relationship. So you might be wondering: what am I supposed to be doing during the no contact period? Think about it this way: these 4 weeks of no contact are your detox period.

If you never detox from the relationship, then that same negativity, desperation, and pain will prevent you from ever getting him back. It means that your negative emotions are in control of you. Think about it this way: negative emotions and feelings are working against you, and will wind up pushing him away, while positive emotions and feelings will work for you, and magnetically draw him back to you.

You need a foundation of positive emotions in order to get him back — and to do that you have to let go of your negative emotions. The best, most effective way to let go of negative emotions is to point blank accept the fact that the relationship is over. The best first step to take towards detox is this: get rid of all reminders of your relationship and your ex boyfriend. So write down his phone number and address on a piece of paper and keep it somewhere out of the way, then delete them out of your phone.

Get rid of all the pictures on your computer and your phone that remind you of him. Delete his screen names from your lists and get rid of his emails and texts. Take any gifts and physical reminders that you have of him and put them away and out of sight. Remember, your goal is to have nothing that reminds you of him in your day to day life. Instead of thinking about him, there are a number of things you can do to trick your mind into forgetting about him for a while, so that you can relax and stop obsessing.

There are a few great ways to do that. The most effective one is also the simplest — set your mind on someone else. A great exercise is to try fantasizing about other men. Try to do it at least once per day. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. The third thing to do to erase his power over you is simple.

Write all those things down and focus on them. The best thing to do for yourself is to focus on yourself — and focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be. One of the best possible things to do during no contact is start exercising or to throw yourself into exercising if you already have a program.

Not only does it help you look your best, it gives you a place where you can stop thinking about your ex and just put all your focus and energy into your workout.

Plus, working out improves your mental state and makes you feel better about yourself. The endorphins flooding your brain help you detox from the relationship and move on even faster. Getting compliments from other guys definitely helps you move on too. One of the best ways to move on is to have a bunch of guys in your life who are fighting for your favor. Plus, you can use those guys as emotional support too, instead of feeling the instinct to lean on your ex.

Your vibe is your most attractive asset. But a good vibe is one of the strongest tools in learning how to get back together with an ex. Your vibe is essentially your mood. So when your mood is genuinely good, relaxed, and happy, your vibe reflects that.

There is nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who has a good vibe. The best way to understand what your vibe is and what it does for you is to use an example from your own life. When you see their name pop up on their phone, do you get this electrifying excitement? You wind up with a sinking feeling in your gut!

If their vibe was good because they worked on being in a good mood more , then you would feel happy and excited to talk to them. When your vibe is fun, happy, and positive, people will be excited and happy to get closer with you.

During the no contact period, fill your life with things you love to do. Things that make you feel whole and that are massively fun to you. When you focus on the things you really enjoy doing, it automatically improves your mood and revitalizes your vibe. Guys are attracted to a woman who has her own life, her own happiness, and feels whole outside of a relationship. So focus on your vibe by doing the things that make you feel good and make you feel whole.

When you do that, you naturally help yourself move on from the relationship and become massively more attractive to your ex in the process. At this point, take a second to pat yourself on the back.

Here are the conditions you should have met by now, in order to maximize your chances of getting him back:. Make sure to abide by the ever-important No Contact Rule. In this case, ignore your instincts because they usually act like impulses and read as impulsive behavior. Make sure you take time needed for yourself to feel strong and confident on your own while you give him space. Make sure you do not, I repeat do not show any signs of codependency or clinginess when he does reach back out to you.

If you are looking for a quick fix or some quick ideas for initiating contact via text, be sure to keep the language casual. Treat him like a friend that you just want to grab a quick bite or coffee with. Would you put so much pressure on wording a text to hang out? Give him the same lack of attention to detail. Keep it casual, cool. Maintain a good vibe and exude confidence in your indifference.

The longer the time has been between the breakup and point of contact, the more of a conversation you might owe him. Reach out to him to meet up to talk, and be explicit in that you want to talk to him.

Remind him of the stunning and self-assured you that he fell in love with in the first place. Sometimes, no matter what you do, he might have just moved on. Which is okay. Be prepared to face this reality. If he has moved on, respect his space.

As long as you respect his space, you never know what the future will hold. As time passes, that feeling of missing you starts to grow. This is the most critical moment that will determine whether you win your ex back, or let the relationship fizzle out into nothing, so pay very close attention here. This could include watching your Instagram stories or randomly liking a post of yours on social media.

If and when he contacts you, be very careful about how you respond. Our instinct would typically be to agree to whatever they propose if we think it gives us the slightest chance of reconnecting. But that willingness and immediate availability is actually where the biggest traps can happen. If he really presses, you can ask him to clarify whether or not he wants to have a talk to get back into a relationship with you again. The only way to really get back together is when both of you want a clearly defined, committed relationship.

You get to finally see the truth of if he really was willing to ever commit to you in the way you really want. When it comes to reaching out to your ex, the best way to do it is through text messages. One of the best ways to do that is to tell him about something positive that happened in your life that reminded you of him. Maybe a tv show or movie you saw recently made you think of him.

Maybe you saw a commercial for a vacation and it reminded you of a trip you took with him. The most important thing to remember is that you want to be subtle and positive. No hidden motivation like trying to get him back , no manipulation, and no agendas. Now, a lot of the time, your ex will actually text you first. Along the same vein, never text him with negativity. Give him time and space to respond to your text, and never send him more than one text message in a row without him texting you back.

Still, it would be stupid to throw away such a great friendship. The best way to ask your ex out again is not to call it a date. Remember — you want to be friends with him and keep your friendship going — and calling it a date is going to send him running because it reveals that you have an agenda of getting back together with him, which will turn him off more than anything.

The most effective way to get him to come out and see you is by calling him. As long as you focus all your energy and attention on having a good time in the moment with him, and making sure that your mood is good which contributes to an overall good vibe, which is the most attractive thing you can do , then the work you put in during the no contact period will do the rest.

The contrast between how things felt at the end of your relationship and how things feel now is key in getting back together with him. If things felt awful, strained, and tense at the end of your relationship which is very normal , then making sure your vibe is good is the best thing you can do.

So remember: when you meet up with him again after your breakup, and after the no contact rule, your vibe is crucial! I hope this helped you understand exactly how to get back with your ex and the exact steps you have to take. You need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. Now, if you want to know what you should do from that point forward, you need more personalized advice.

On to step 5…. Take this quiz right now to get personalized advice based on you and your specific situation. This quiz will gather all the information necessary to knowing exactly where you and your ex stand, and what the most effective way to get him back is. Take the quiz right now and find out for sure whether you can get your ex back, or whether you should move on instead.

Want to find out if you can get your ex back? Take the Quiz. Tagged as: break up , breakup , ex back , ex boyfriend , get ex back and keep him , get your ex back , get your ex boyfriend back , how to get him back , how to get your ex back.

My boyfriend does not want her but she arguing with me but I stood for myself but she continues to harass me. But the man I was with never said it over. So what am I suppose to do? Just confused and broken hearted person. Please help me ……. Things can only work out in your relationship only if you give chance to the right person to assist you. My love life turned out to be something great after i contacted prophet munak through his details via email [holyprophet8 gmail.

Will it work if I was the reason of our break up? I mean, I triggered him and yeah, we both decided to broke up. We are still talking but I want to win him back. Will this work? Worth a try. Someone said if he fell in love with u, despite mistakes he can fall in love again. I acted desperately I texted him long texts trying to change his mind. I texted again with a questionmark. Is there a chance to get him back if I try NC rule?

This really works!! I followed every step -to the letter- 4 years ago when my ex left me. I had just had his 3month old son to add to my heartbreak. He started seeing another girl and yes that hurt like hell.

Everyone — including his mother- told me that I should move on and concentrate on my kid. But I wanted us to be a family- I believed their was still good in him. He is a changed man and devoted to me and to our now 3 sons. This article saved my relationship. I got to know my ex again and discovered that he is my soulmate, he just had to grow up and become a man.

We are getting married next year and all of that is because of this. Stick with it. Talked to my ex bf on July 5, 20 min phone call. I have been regularly contacting him but have pulled back recently. He may be with someone new. Is there still a chance?

I love him. Hi I lost the love of my life over some stupid questions that to him he thinks is a form of mistrust.. For all I know I have never given him any doubts of cause… I trust him with my whole heart he makes my life so comfortable around him. This is really good. But, I always believe that once gone is gone forever. Still can give a try to these ideas. I was talking to this guy for almost 2 years.

When we first started talking, I felt like our age difference would be our downfall. Not in an inappropriate sense but simply because we were on two completely different stages of life. Before we started talking, we assured each other that we were comfortable with the age difference. Neither of us expected to grow as close as we did or last as long as we did.

Especially with the fact that he ended up moving to Pittsburgh due to his job and I live in Philly. We were literally like best friends. We told each other everything, we would sit and talk on the phone for hours about any and everything, we shared so many laughs. Things were fine all the way up until October I brushed it off cause it seemed crazy that he would decide to say that after all that time. Things got really bad when I made a careless mistake of missing my birth control pill. He eventually stopped talking to me in December but I reached out to him a week later and we rekindled things.

He said that he was trying to figure out whether he should be talking to someone a little more around his age or not. I was stupid enough to tell him that I would be okay with it if he decided to start talking to someone else. We ended up getting back together again and then he recently just stopped talking to me on Tuesday.

We had literally just made plans to see each other. So, me and my ex had a relationship for almost 4 months. He had a relation before this and so did i.

He had a relation for 4months and i had for 3years. I was teen and got into relationship. So i left him. And about my recent ex, his first relation broke up due to betrayal. Somehow we both got into relationship after two years of our consecutive break up. I love him so much. I did Everything he said. But he was never satisfied. My past had a negative impact on him. He always told if i could leave my ex even after having 3years old relationship, i could leave him too.

He would break up with me every now and then and the next day he would say sorry. I would always take him back. But recently he said awful things to me and blaims me for everything and broke up with me. He called two days later. After 3days, he called me for 17 times and texted me to text him for 5 minutes. Then he texted that i would get the same silent treatment from him if i try to contact him. I do love him even after all the things he has done to me. I want him back. Please give me some tips what to do.

What does that mean? Is there hope to getting back together? Most of The Times the problem was you are driving away him. I was also in a same stat of mind few years back.

And my number one advise is that if you ended things for a reason then its better to not get back again. But if you think that was a mistake then you should understand a bit about what makes the men tick. The short answer is bad communication. Yes men a the worst communicators and there are studies that shows then spoke very few words per day than women.

So the basic thing is you have to understand whats on his mind. They are embarassed to talk about their feelings. Also you have to make them feel needed. Well its also a lot of other things too. I cannot explain them all in this comment. But in my blog journal i had written what i feel. May be they are just my ramblings but i found them true in most occasions. Or do you make him feel he cant do anything right, like a child, stupid, worthless, weak?

Often we women come across much more crutical than we realize. We are so socialized to being critiqued we just take it and deal. Men cant. They cant absorb it, it just sits on them and weighs them down. Always phrase any critiques positively? Sandwich it between two affirmations of good things he does or positive qualities. State you understand him.

Listen to his converns, ask what you can do to help the situation. Back off if he says to back off. Otherwise he will lose respect for you. You might lose him but you will still have respect for yourself by acting with integrity rather than humiliating yourself. But your chances are good, if you make a man feel attractive internally, he will want to be around you so he can keep ahold of that feeling.

I have just ended up the relationship with my boyfriend and the article gives me some insights indeed. But I was wondering if I could get personal advice? May I share my whole story and may I possibly get the most effective and suitable advice for my problems? I would be pleased if you reply me. I will be looking forward to…. There are really clever ways to make him miss you through text.

Is it possible to still follow this steps and it will work out for me? The No Contact role is a powerful method, it works great. Give him the space and time to realize what he has lost by letting you go of. In the meanwhile make your life busier by getting involved in new activities.

Take care of yourself, always be at your best behaviour, and wear an attractive dress that you know he likes, hang out with your friends and exchange jokes with them and laugh whenever possible as nothing had happened. Thank you, this was helpful and instructive to me as a guy. I like how things were explained step by step and with specificity.

I think this works the other way around, too trying to get a girl back. Okay so I was dating a guy for 3 months. He chased me for 2 months.. Wel he broke up with me but just said he needed some space. He was telling me he was scared to talk to me at first. What do I do! He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection.

I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond? This is all great advice, but in real life every situation is unique.

My ex literally to this day still wants to get back with me, even though she broke up with me years ago. Do I still have the chance of getting him after using this no contact rule?

This is all good but how am I supposed to do this when we still live together. I hurt him again by calling him a name I should not have for the 2nd time and now we live together to finish a lease — which is in Sept. All he wants to do is move out but said he wont leave me hanging. What do I do? I know this is an older comment but wondering if you able to get him back? And if so, How did you do it? I remember this happening to me.

He felt soooo far away, yet lived in the same town. Hope you have the happy ending you wAnted. Following this advice helped me save my relationship. At the start I the break up I was messaging him a lot and begging to get back together. I looked stupid. After reading this I tried the no contact rule and focused on bettering myself and finding distractions when I felt the urge to talk to him.

Just pretending to move on helped me feel a lot better about myself. We were later forced to work together and I kept my head up ignored him the best I could besides work relations and showed him that I can move on. Shortly after that he broke down to me about missing me and doing anything to have me back.

My ex boyfriend and I work in the same office and I am in the no contact period. I will have to see him every day. Yes he responds but very selectively.

So i have run out of what to say. I need some help on this. I started talking to an ex again after a few years. Asked it all. Now i feel like im the one mostly initiating conversation, he always answers within a day at least, but if i dont initiate we dont talk at all. I asked him and he said it was because i wasnt giving him the chance, obviously this is not true. When i dont initiate, he will initiate only after 2,3 or more days. So basically, hes responsive and flirty, getting back memories etcetera, but is busy and silent when i dont innitiate conversation.

Its confusing me. I dont know if he really is that interested. I havent talked to him for 3 days now, i wonder if you know something i could do, just stop initiating at all or? Im a bit lost. Hey Kate, it really depends on what you want to do. If you want to get him back then you need to follow the information about the texting phase and how to capture his interest. While also working on yourself to be Ungettable. Usually its overcompensating. You NC needs to be 45 days and you stick with it. If he gets angry that you are not talking to him that is not your problem.

So stick with your NC and work on your Holy Trinity during this time. My ex and I had a 9 month relationship really intense and we broke up on October, since there I never really thought about getting him back. We kind of did that. I never initiate the conversation he did. And I think I push him away by not responding as I use to. And also because I was really in a bad period not only because of him. So I was really negative. Then he stopped message me. I notice it and send him a message near Christmas he respond but it was quick.

I message him at the beginning of February about stuff I needed to get back, the conversation was formal, we finish by schedule a weekend In April when I was going to come and get back my stuff. I tried to create a connection With him by sending him our friendversary challenge in Facebook but he never reply. Then I started really wanted him back. And then I learn that he was dating someone and I got angry about him moving on so fast.

I start working on myself and I discovered your podcast. The quarantine started and it really help me get back all the self confidence I lost.

Hope you well and your family as well! Thin news make me feel angry and sad. On the 34th day of the no contact he interacts with me using a story in Instagram I answered he respond and then I stopped the conversation.

But since then nothing happened. So please Chris can you help me with that? Hi Naby, so your No Contact period should have been 45 days as he has met someone else, so if you have not broken yet, be sure that you are spending 45 days focused on yourself and working on your Holy Trinity and then you start following the being there method.

This takes a lot of emotional strength so make sure you understand how the process works before you reach out to your ex. I just wanted some advice. I am currently in no contact and feel at peace. If it gets to 45 days and there has still been no contact, do I bother reaching out?

Or just leave it? Would a friendly message be okay? Hi Lilly, so if you want to get him back then at the end of your No Contact you are going to have to reach out to follow this program.

Read some more articles so that you understand what each stage requires. Chris is taken time to write articles about the types of messages you are supposed to send to your ex after a NC is complete.

I wanted to know if I ruined my chances of getting him back. And what should I do now. Making Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous. Success Stories. The No Contact Rule. Please log in with your username or email to continue. No account yet? Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Method 1. Take a break from your ex-boyfriend. You may be dying to be back with your ex-boyfriend, but the worst thing you can do is hang around him incessantly, call him, or wink at him in class until he gets the picture.

If you're always around, he probably does get the picture, but it won't be one that he likes. Instead, you should take a breather and stop hanging around him, at least for a few weeks or longer. Stop calling or texting him. Even if you think of something funny that reminds you of him, it's better to hold off. Try to avoid seeing him at all, even when you're hanging out with mutual friends. If you do catch yourselves at the same party, you don't have to be rude to him, but you shouldn't spend too much time talking to him.

You don't have to be rude to take a break from your ex. If you do run into him, you don't have to run away, but you don't have to linger and talk about nothing either.

Think about what went wrong. While you distance yourself from your boyfriend, you'll be in a good position to reflect on the problems in the relationship. If you want to get your man back, then you have to figure out what it was that went wrong, so you don't do it all over again. The problem could be simple, or it could take a bit longer to figure out. Here are some of the things that could have gone wrong: [3] X Research source Maybe you were too jealous or controlling, and he couldn't handle it anymore.

Maybe you didn't spend enough time together. Maybe he felt like you weren't caring or affectionate enough.

Maybe he felt like you were too clingy and were always around. Maybe there was a situational change, like one of you having to move to a different town, or maybe he was leaving for college in just a few months and wanted to break it off.

Maybe you were just always fighting and didn't get along. Make a game plan for addressing the problem. Once you figure out what went wrong in the relationship - which could be a combination of problems instead of just one - it's time to think about how you can make things different next time.

You don't want to make your ex-boyfriend want you back if you'll just run into the same problems and drama all over again. If the problem was that you were jealous, you need to think about how you can be less jealous. If he thought you were too bossy or controlling, you need to tone down that aspect of your personality.

If you fought all the time, you can think about how you can be less combative. If the problem had to do more with him, then you can think about how you can be together again without this issue -- maybe he'll be willing to change. But if he's not willing to change and you know this will be an issue long term, then you should consider whether or not it's worth it to get him back. Work on yourself.

Take some time to work out whatever problem may have ended your relationship, and just spend time enjoying your own company or hanging out with friends. Make a list of three flaws that you'd like to change about yourself, and slowly start to address them. It takes a lifetime to grow as a person, but even taking small steps to become your ideal steps can help your relationship. If you're busy focusing on yourself, that will make him think about you even more.

Spend time with your girlfriends, working out, or pursuing your favorite hobbies. Take some time to work on yourself, but not too much time.

If you spend months addressing your issues and completely fall out of the picture, your ex may have moved on. Method 2. Let your ex see you having a great time without him. After enough time has passed and you feel that you both got some perspective, you should start giving your ex the opportunity to see you having a great time. Starting going to the parties where he goes, or run into him with a friend at his favorite coffee shop or bar. Don't be too obvious about it, but let him see you with your other friends and remember how much fun it is to hang out with you.

If you know you'll see him, look your best without being too obvious that you're dressing up for him. When you do run into him, greet him with a smile and a surprised look -- you were so busy having fun that you didn't even think about the possibility of him being around. Make him jealous optional. This doesn't work for everyone, but if you think that having your ex see you with another guy, or just flirting with a group of guys, will make him want to be around you even more than go for it.

This doesn't mean you should get another boyfriend just to make him jealous. Just let him see you flirting, tossing your hair back, or even getting on the dance floor with another guy or two. If he thinks you're actually dating someone else, he may back off. Or who knows -- that might make him want you even more. Make him jealous on social media.